This guy definitely doesn't use a mech mod.
This guy definitely doesn’t use a mech mod.

We all know that regulated box mods are all the rage these days. With their fancy schmancy temperature control, variable wattage, variable voltage, safety features, and LCD screens it’s obvious that they were destined to become the most popular type of vape out there.

But you know what? If a regulated box mod is your vape of choice then you’re a little bitch.

Real men want to vape with something that requires you to forge your personal vaping experience using nothing more than some tiny screwdrivers, 24 gauge wire, and your own masculine ability to build shit. You think women know how to twist metal wires into the perfect sized coil, properly place it on the deck, and then test it to make sure that it has a low enough resistance level to blow ginormous clouds but not low enough to blow their own face off? HA! Just watch the average woman try to change a tire and come back to me.

Another reason that mech mods are the ultimate vape for alpha manly men is because of the inherent danger involved. Women and betas will shy away from vapes that have the potential to blow up and put them in the hospital, but as alphas we are drawn to danger. We run towards the sound of gunfire not away from it. Mechanical mods are just the latest dangerous status symbol through which we can assert our masculinity, joining the likes of motorcycles, fast cars, guns, fireworks, etc. Note that all of these things are only dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, and if you’re a lowly beta you’ll always be second-guessing your own competence and thus will be too scared to partake in these alpha pastimes. Vaping with a mechanical mod requires you to be 100% sure of your own ability and judgment, something that only alphas are capable of achieving.

Mechanical mods stand the test of time. They’re a classic that will be around forever, while if you use the latest high-tech mod it’ll be out of date in three months tops. Mechanical mods are synonymous with style. Think leather Eames chair, aviator sunglasses, peacoat, a well-made grey suit. Masculine style stands the test of time and never changes.  Temperature control variable wattage gizmo mods have more in common with fashion, something temporary that won’t last more than a season. You know who’s really into fashion? Women and the gays.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently bad about taking advantage of the latest technology. I get it. It’s damn convenient to be able to completely change your vaping experience with the press of a button. But if you want to be a true alpha vape nerd you should know your way around mechanical mods. Just like there’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of the convenience of driving an automatic transmission but you’re still a pussy if you can’t drive stick.

Now excuse me. I would love to write more but right now I have a KBOX 200 full of pina colada flavored e-juice to get back to.

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